Forming
By: Natalie Woodcock
As my old Volvo chugs it’s way up the steep, windy road of US-226, I begin to think back to my first year of college and the flurry of uncertainties that accompanied the transition. After acquiring the most expensive piece of paper of my life, I made the decision to join the pilot crew of the Smoky Mountain Center and experience these uncertainties all over again. I had learned all about conservation corps through my Outdoor Recreation degree at Indiana University (the CCC was likely mentioned at least once a week), but I could never realistically imagine what the experience of being a corps member would bring. I had built a vibrant, friendly, inspiring community at IU, and I was leaving it all to start from scratch in Western North Carolina.
A month after making it up the windy roads and settling into my small cabin at the Smoky Mountain Center, it has already become clear to me the ways in which people can constantly surprise you. Because the Smoky Mountain Center is a residential program, relationships seem to form ten times faster than normal. Living and working in the backcountry for 8 days at a time and then returning to the homestead to continue to share the realities of living together uncovers many joys as well as challenges. An extra dose of communication and openness is required in community living. I have learned that issues that go unaddressed will not simply “blow over”…you may be able to avoid confrontation for a small period of time, but conflict will inevitably arise.
Nonetheless, there is something rich and satisfying about working alongside the people you live with. Sharing experiences of struggle, exhaustion, success, and accomplishment peels back the layers of a person’s personality that too often remains closed. During my time studying Recreation, the psychology of group dynamics was often a topic of discussion. The phrase from Bruce Tuckman’s stages of group development, “Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing”, was another common discussion topic within my field along with the CCC. The catchy rhyme rings in my head whenever I encounter a group experience. Storming is often the most sensational and overly discussed phase within group development, however Forming is often overlooked. The phenomena of strangers meeting and developing relationships is too often lost amidst the chaos of beginnings. These moments however, are when humans have the opportunity to exhibit a quality lacking in our culture: vulnerability.
In a society obsessed with being in control, the ability to be vulnerable has become a lost art. We all want to appear to have our lives figured out when the reality is (excuse the cliche) life is unpredictable. Living with complete strangers has the potential to be one of the most unpredictable experiences out there, but add on living with strangers in the woods and you’ve just conjured up a control freak’s worst nightmare. The illusion of control is removed by both literal and figurative forces of nature. You are forced to be vulnerable. Really amazing things can happen during the Forming stage of group development if people are open to vulnerability. Although it can be terrifying, vulnerability is the lens into who we are as a human being. It allows us to experience defeat, loss, hurt, and grief and discover that it is possible to overcome these feelings.
My first month with the Smoky Mountain Center has presented me with a plethora of opportunities to be vulnerable. I feel lucky to be surrounded by people willing to be open and risk being vulnerable to form relationships. I’m looking forward to what the rest of my time with a conservation corps will bring.
-Natalie
